Pseudocoded

$brain->viewSource()

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’


Through the looking glass

function isGreatestFinaleEver( $show ) {
 
    if ( $show->name == 'Lost' && $show->season == 3 ) {
 
        return TRUE;
    }
    else {
 
        return FALSE;
    }
}

My lawn in the summer

var lawn = document.getElementById('lawn');
 
var grass = lawn.childNodes;
 
for ( var i = 0; i < grass.length; i++ ) {
 
    var blade = grass[i];
 
    blade.style.color = '#EEDD77';
 
    blade.style.height = '.25in';
 
    blade.onclick = function() {
 
        sound.src = 'crunch.wav';
        sound.play();
    };
 
    if ( date.getMonth() == 8 )
        blade.style.display = 'none';
 
}

When to pee in the middle of the night

if ($age < 6) {
 
    $bed->stay();
}
else {
 
    if ( $bladder->size < $pee->volume ) {
 
        $bathroom->goTo() or $bladder->explode();
    }
    else {
 
        $time_left = $alarm->time - time();
 
        if ( $time_left < 60 * 60 ) {
 
            sleep( $time_left );
        }
    }
}
 
pee();

Solicitors at the office

if ( ! is_a($solicitor->selling, 'OfficeSupplies') &&
    $solicitor->isFemale() && $solicitor->hotness >= 8 ) {
 
        while ( $solicitor->isFlirting() ) {
 
           talkTo($solicitor);
       }
}
 
call( $security );

Curious son

while ( $toddler->isGrowing() ) {
 
    if ( $drawer->height <= $toddler->height ) {
 
        if ( ! $drawer->isTop() ) {
 
            $drawer->moveContents( $drawer->getAbove() );
        }
        else {
 
            $parent->giveUp();
        }
    }
}

Wii golf

file_get_contents(
    'http://www.ericsink.com/entries/WiiGolf.html');
 
while ( $golf->score > -12 ) {
 
    $hours = $golf->play();
 
    $wasted += $hours;
}

Cursing

$can = TRUE;
 
foreach ( $in_room as $person ) {
 
    if ( $person == $mom or $person->age < 16 )
 
        $can = FALSE;
}

RadioShack

while ( $this->inBusiness() ) {
 
    $confusion++;
 
    if ( time() > strtotime('2008-01-01') ) {
 
        $SEC->investigate( $this );
    }
}

End date set for “Lost”

for ( $i = 0; $i < 48; $i++ ) {
 
    $episode = $show->getEpisode( $i + 73 );
 
    $answers   += $episode->getAnswers();
    $questions += $episode->getQuestions();
}
 
if ( $questions > $answers ) {
 
    $producers = array( $show->getProducer('J.J. Abrams'),
        $show->getProducer('Damon Lindelof') );
 
    while ( TRUE ) {
 
        send( $complaint, $producers );
    }
}

Mother’s day gifts

if ( $person->age < 13 ) {
 
    $gift = new Item;
    $gift->type = 'handmade';
 
    $mother->give( $gift );
}
else {
 
    $gifts = array();
 
    if ( $person->hasMom() )
        array_push( $gifts, new Item );
 
    if ( $person->hasStepMom() )
        array_push( $gifts, new Item );
 
    if ( $wife and $wife->hasMom() )
        array_push( $gifts, new Item );
 
    if ( $wife and $wife->hasStepMom() )
        array_push( $gifts, new Item );
 
    if ( $sister and ( ! $sister->isMom() )
        and $sister->age > 25)
            array_push( $gifts, new Item );
 
    if ( $wife and $person->hasChildren() ) {    
 
        foreach ( $person->children() as $child ) {        
 
            if ( $child->age < 4 )
                array_push( $gifts, new Item );
        }
    }    
 
    foreach ( $gifts as $gift ) {
        $person->wallet -= $gift->price;
    }    
}