Pseudocoded

if ( $person->isAttacking( $self ) )
    return true;
 
if ( $self->location == 'WarZone' && $person->isEnemy() )
    return true;
 
if ( $self->location == 'MovieTheater' &&
        $movie->isPlaying() &&
        $movie->rating >= 3 &&
        $movie->ticket->cost >= 10.00 &&
        $person->isTalkingOnCellPhone() &&
        $person->volume > 30dB
            return true;

window.onload = function() {
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( heartbeat, 0.85 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( breathe, 3 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( blink, 5 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( swallow, 60 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( fart, 6200 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( pee, 14400 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( eat, 28800 );
 
    new PeriodicalExecuter( sleep, 86400 );
}

 
$person->checkPokerDB( 'http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/' );
 
if ( $person->prizeMoney > 0 )
    return false;
 
 
$person->searchForbes( 'http://www.forbes.com/lists/' );
 
if ( $person->ForbesRank > 0 )
    return true;
 
 
$person->testARSE( 'http://electricpulp.com/guykawasaki/arse/' );
 
if ( $person->ARSEScore > 15 )
    return false;

$year++;
 
foreach ( resolutions( $year - 1 ) as $old_resolution ) {
 
    $new_resolution = clone($old_resolution);
    $new_resolution->year = $year;
}