Pseudocoded

if ( in_array( $symptoms, 'cough' ) ) {
 
    if ( watch( 'House' ) ) {
 
        return select_one(array( 
            'african sleeping sickness', 
            'arteriovenous malformation', 
            'brain cancer', 
            'epstein-barr',
            'gout',
            'leprosy',
            'ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency',
            'rabies',
            'subdural hematoma',
            'tapeworm',
        ));
    }
    else {
 
        return 'common cold';
    }
}